Courses/Computer Science/CPSC 203/CPSC 203 2007Fall L04/CPSC 203 2007Fall L04 TermProjects/Love At First Site

Group:

Name: Wild Wild Wiki (WWW)

Members: Lindsay Parker, Daniel Kazmaier, Mike Anderson, Rhea Garcia & Jaclyn Sim

Statement:

In today's society, technology is constantly improving our lives. But can it also improve our love lives? Over the years, online dating has rapidly increased its appeal to accomodate our fast paced lifestyle. Regardless of society's somewhat pessimistic view on online dating, we will explore it's benefits and advice to increase your chances of success.

History of Online Dating

Downfall of Face-to-face Dating

When people date face to face sometimes they say things with out thinking about what they are saying first. People say things impulsively because they let their nerves consume them. These nerves hinder each person from gaining true understanding of what there date is really like. Face to face dating also takes a lot of time and money. With face to face dating being so time consuming often people can not fit it into their lives. It is also difficult to coordinate a time that works for both daters. Also face to face dating is primarily in most cases focused on the physical before the mental or emotional.

Now I am going to focus on Match.com an online dating service that addresses many of the downfalls to face to face dating

Beginnings of Match.com

Match.com is a publicly held operating business of IAC/InterActiveCorp, was launched on the Web on April 21, 1995. Match.com was the driving force that introduced online dating. In ten years Match.com has developed a membership base of more then 15 million people. Match. com is able to accumulate such a large network because it is easy to access and join and affordable. It's free to post a profile, browse and search for matches on the site. Once members become paying subscribers, they may email other members on the site. Match.com offers a variety of subscription packages and discounts to suit the different needs of its members. A basic, one-month subscription is $29.99. Match.com being affordable and easy to access is what creates such a high demand for it. Also Match.com makes great effort to understand what their clientele wants and desires. In order to develop this understanding Match.com conducts surveys for people to fill out and return to them. Match.com conducts research and surveys singles in Europe and the United States to better understand what it means to be single, dating or searching for new friends, romantic pals or long-term relationships today.

Match.com at a glance is as follows, single adults post personal profiles with photos and their selected preferences regarding a potential date's age, location, lifestyle, ethnicity, religion and body type, among other criteria. At the click of a mouse, singles can see and read about their most likely matches, often numbering in the hundreds, and paid subscribers can elect to contact or reply to emails from the members they find most appealing. All contact between Match.com members on the site is done using an anonymous username and not a real email address. Every profile and photo is screened for appropriateness before it is posted to the Match.com site. Match.com is a fun, efficient and effective way for eligible singles to meet and get to know each other Match.com used to be a wholly owned subsidiary of Ticketmaster and part of USA Networks Interactive Group before becoming part of InterActiveCorp. The business aspect of Match.com offers, aggressive revenue sharing and partnership opportunities featuring co-branding, customization and creative integration approaches. By working with Match.com, strategic partners are able to offer their audiences the benefit of direct access to the leading online matchmaking service. Some of Match.com's current partners include AOL in the United States and Japan; MSN across Europe, Asia and the United States; BET Interactive; Comcast Broadband; Excite/iWon; Tiscali (France, Spain and Italy); Wanadoo (Spain), and T-online in Germany.

Match.com Success Story

"One night, while checking my email, an advertisement bar for Match.com caught my attention. I went to the site and signed up for a free trial membership. I never expected to meet the person I'd spend the rest of my life with. Maurice was busy restoring his recently purchased home and, as a result, had no time to meet quality singles using more "traditional" methods. The bar/club scene was not his style. There was something about Maurice's profile that caught my attention. Something about him seemed familiar. We exchanged a few emails then had a telephone conversation to set a date to meet. Our first date was phenomenal. After eating at a Thai restaurant, we walked around the little town where I lived and then down to the beach. We sat on the beach and talked for hours. We casually dated for five months until one fateful trip to New Orleans to celebrate Halloween, my favorite holiday. It was during this trip we realized how compatible we really were. We have been inseparable ever since. Maurice proposed one evening in December 2001 on the Marin Headlands, overlooking the San Francisco city lights and the illuminated Golden Gate Bridge with the stars twinkling above. It couldn't have been more perfect or more romantic."

Taking a look at Match.com I think that we can all agree that online dating can definitely be a success. Online dating can accommodate busy lives and helps people focus on personality before physical. I hope that you as the reader know and understand more about the history of Match.com/ online dating than you were aware of prior to reading this information.

Canadian Dating Mindset & Statistics

Change in Society

A variety of factors has and will in the future increase online dating potential and the number of individuals using the service. In the 1970s analysts predicted a “leisure society” would eventually emerge, as computers were considered the solution of making living and jobs more efficient. However, the flip side has happened and individuals are working longer hours and spending fewer hours with people outside the workplace. The graph shows average weekly workplace hours in 11-selected industrialized countries in 1977-98:

An increase in work-hours allows E-dating to become a viable alternative.

In addition, over half of the 11 000 individuals over fourteen years old surveyed in 1998 by Statistics Canada said they did not have enough time to spend with friends and family, while a third considered themselves workaholics. Canadians are also more mobile as switching jobs and moving to other cities is becoming more common than 20-years ago.

Clearly this mentality and the increase of workplace hours negatively affects a Canadian's dating lifestyle. Because this environment does not embrace traditional relationships, a viable alternative is needed. Online dating allows Canadians to find and establish long-term relationships amidst our busy society.

The Canadian Mindset

There are mixed opinions regarding online dating in Canada. Common fallacies will be addressed, showing that online dating should be considered.

1. Online dating users are proactive off-line. Individuals searching for a relationship commonly shy away from online dating because they feel other users may be socially inept, able only to interact through a computer. An online report from MSN.ca confirms this mindset for Canadians. However, it has been found that E-daters are proactive socially off-line. Roughly 25% belong to a religious organization, 41% participate in clubs and 82% visit friends and family at least once-a-month. It is safe to conclude that dating individuals online will not focus on one minority group, but allow a broad selection that is particuarly active socially.

Roughly two-thirds of e-daters met someone face-to-face, showing great potential in E-dating.

2. Being cautious protects individuals from those who misrepresent themselves. Some Canadians are skeptical about pursuing relationships online because approximately 25% of users misrepresent themselves. This is understandable but as with any relationship, cation should be exercised before meeting someone. Most of the E-daters who met little to no one at all admitted that they had tried to rush the relationship--typically the wrong approach. Also, a telephone survey of 1,200 Canadians conducted in Nov., 2000 suggests that the potential for online dating in Canada is about 3.1 million unmarried people (with ± 2.8% error).

People will always misrepresent themselves regardless. However, we can be optimistic by realizing that with the large pool of other singles online chances will increase in the future especially in Canada. There is great potential in finding true love in the growing number of registered Canadians on dating sites while always using a cautious approach.

Generalizations

Overall, we have seen that Canadians and industrialized nations in particular should admit pursuing traditional dating is being coming increasingly difficult. Online dating seeks to find a right relationship in our changing society, allowing flexibility when needed. The benefits are quite obvious despite some fallacies which have been addressed. Anyone seriously seeking should consider online dating as it will likely increase in popularity and has shown in recent years to be not only a viable but reasonable alternative.

Privacy Issues of Online Dating

Before registering with a credible online dating site, ensure that you have read their privacy policy, as some sites do not guarantee it. Most sites, such as Match.com and eHarmony.com, state similar privacy statements.

Enables web users to increase or discrease their privacy online.

Information Collected

Online dating sites collect names, age and e-mail addresses, and their servers also collect IP addresses, browser types and times of visit. In order to identify you and your activity on a site, the website will utilize cookies and web beacons. Don’t be alarmed. While a majority of your information is collected, you have the ultimate control in the amount of information you provide. Most online dating sites can only be accessible to those who are at least 18 or even 21 years of age. Age, and other personal data, such as your name and e-mail address, is required when obtaining a membership; however, any information you display on your profile is voluntary. It is recommened that you do no provide information such as a home address or information you would reluctantly provide in person. The data your servers collect can also be controlled. The use of cookies and web beacons can easily be disabled by changing your internet options. While it is good to limit the amount of data you share, the success of your online dating experience is influenced by how much clear and accurate information you provide about yourself.

Third Parties

To prevent your personal information from being accessed by unreliable parties, ensure that your online dating website only allows registered users to access other users’ profile. This is the case for Match.com. The popular dating site also declares that they do not provide information to third parties, and will be informed if under necessary conditions, such as legal requirements or cases of fraud, that your information is shared.

Identity Theft

While there is a possibility of exposing yourself to identity theft and even stalkers, some online dating websites takes complaints into consideration and even cancel the access of those who disregard the website’s terms of use. If you have experienced identity theft and is uncomfortable about continuing your membership, privacy policies of Match.com and eHarmony.com allows you to terminate your membership any time.

As stated before, make sure to read the privacy policy of the online dating community you are about to participate in. If you’re still unsure of the website’s privacy policy, sites that have a genuine TRUSTe Privacy Program seal means that TRUSTe has reviewed that website’s privacy policy and guarantees that the site utilizes the data you provide with utmost respect. Once you’ve made the leap and obtained a membership on an online dating site, regularly check back on their privacy policy as revisions can be made.

The Drawbacks of Online Dating

The online dating scene has been growing increasingly popular as the world becomes more and more internet dependent. The technology of personality matching queries has enabled people to be meet potentially good matching partners from all over the world. The e-dating scene has become very attractive to those who have grown weary of traditional methods in finding a spouse, as well as to those who are of a shy demeanour, and would rather get to know another person from the comforts of their own home on their personal computer. Although internet dating is easily marketable and innovative, it has many drawbacks as well…

Theme of Misrepresentation

The creation of an online dating profile allows an e-dater to make themselves appear as attractive as possible. Creating a personal profile makes it easy to list all of an individuals good traits, and even easier to forget to list an individuals negative traits. This makes it hard to truly get to know another person through an e-dating service as others may make their profiles appear much more attractive than they actually are in reality. In some cases individuals may be lying about themselves, such as using fake pictures, using fake names, lying about age, etc.

Danger of Meeting Another E-dater

Until meeting a person face to face, it is really hard to gain enough knowledge to feel as though you really know the other person. There is an ever dangerous possibility that the person who has gained your trust through chatting online is a con artist, thief, or sexual predator looking to take advantage of a meeting. It is very common to have the first few dates arranged at a social place, where there are many other people around, as a safety precaution to avoid the risk of the other person having harmful intentions. The risk of interacting a potential harmful person is greatly reduced when an anonymous re-mailer is used, this means that an e-dater is able to correspond with other members without giving out personal contact information.

Differences in E-dater Intentions

In general, there are five different types of individuals using online dating services: (1) A person who is interested in a dating agenda, but unsure as to what purpose the internet relationships will serve in their lives. (2) An intensely serious e-dater looking for their soul mate, and in search of a long-term relationship. (3) An individual simply looking for attention (4) A person who is keen on making many acquaintances, but no real intention of creating a serious relationship. (5) A person who is simply e-dating to satisfy their curiosity, yet have no intentions of pursuing anything further than that. The type of individual using these services varies greatly, and the different intentions of the individuals can lead to an excess of hurt feelings among those with different intentions.

Time Consuming

Online dating is currently practised by over 20 million people worldwide. It is also increasing in popularity at a rapid pace, with no signs of slowing down. This creates a very time consuming problem of sorting through many of these profiles and exchanged e-mails in search of a suitable partner. In some cases, an e-dater could potentially spend years of their life searching on the internet for their partner, without ever finding them.

False Sense of Intimacy

Through chatting with another individual online, it is next to impossible to get an accurate idea of what another person will be like offline. Assuming that the information / pictures are real on an individual’s profile, it is easy to imagine that someone is perfect based on their carefully prepared profile. This drawback is very common among online daters, and often leads to big disappointments once a meeting is actually arranged. Furthermore, it is a popular opinion that there is no replacement for face-to-face human interaction. E-daters have also commonly found themselves in awkward situations caused by the impersonal relationships that are the product of online dating. An individual may ultimately regret writing something that he/she would not have had the courage to say in non-internet relationship. The exchange of multiple e-mails is also a very common source of false-intimacy. Most experts would suggest that an e-dater should not email another more than they would feel comfortable phoning the other individual.

Online dating has become a modern technological way to bring people together from all over the world. The intention of the above statements was to make the audience realize that there are many potential drawbacks to the online dating scene. However, it is our belief that the possibility of meeting a potential soul mate outweighs any and all of the above drawbacks.

What Individuals Can Do To Increase Success

Before You Start…

Introduction/Having a good attitude towards the idea: Since most internet dating sites are similarly set up, people’s success when it comes to internet dating lays mainly in them, not the site. Not having access to a computer or the internet is not what holds people back from internet dating these days, it is their attitude. People who have given up on traditional methods of dating or are not happy with the way their love life is going, can turn to internet dating. It has changed thousands of lives, and with the right attitude it could change anyone’s. Internet dating allows users to get over obstacles that have faced them before when it came to dating. Having a positive, optimistic, but not too serious an attitude is key to internet dating.

Deciding what you are looking for: Internet dating allows people to be a bit more choosy. Before you start, it is ok to have an idea of the person you are looking for, so long as you don’t make it to rigid. You also need to think about what you are looking for in terms of short term fun or long term love. If you are not totally stuck on finding love, but would rather meet new people, make new experiences and fill your time with some fun, you could get a lot out of the internet. People with realistic and casual goals tend to have better luck. People go online to find true love all the time. You just need be realistic about this ambition and do not emphasize this ultimate goal right away. You will scare off some potential dates this way.

Choosing a good site for you: Most reputable sites offer not only tours of their site, but a trial or free membership. This allow users to get a feel for the site and after the week or so is up, decide whether it is worth their time and money to fully subscribe, or to move on and keep on site shopping. The first decision people must make when choosing an internet dating site is deciding whether to opt for a free site or a subscription site. The positive with free sites are they are less costly and you do not have to commit to them for a set period of time. Sadly, other users do not have to have much commitment either, leading to more users who are not that good or serious with their intentions. Also, most free sites have more advertisement, lack superior matching features and you have to create profiles free form. For way less than the price of a few bad dates, people can use subscription sites which lessen a lot of these problems. They normally cost between $20-$30 a month, or half that cost if you subscribe for a full year. They can trap you into time commitment and with anything that requires a visa card, have more risks attached to them. Also there are many specialty sites available that let people meet up with people in similar situations as themselves. There are sites for Christians, homosexuals, obese people, rural residences, even HIV positive people, looking for love. Lots of people choose regional dating sites because that eliminates the long distance travel that is sometimes associated with online dating.

Starting Up…

Selecting a good screen name: These few words count! User names have a big influence on how people initially perceive you. Choose something that is interesting, but avoid anything to cheesy or self inflating. Also, never post more then one ad on the same site. It is okay to post on different sites, but two accounts on one site will not double your chances of success

Filling out surveys: When talking about yourself, it is best to keep it short and sweet. No bibliographies here! People are more likely to read a short, intriguing passage on your life, than a long rambling page with excess detail. Leave questions blank if they are only going to have a negative or embarrassing answer. Remember, that internet dating sites are not catalogues, so do not have a long list of non-negotiables about the person that you are looking for.

How much to reveal about your self: There are positives and negatives about revealing information about yourself. Take time to review what information you have revealed, and delete information you no longer want posted. It is best to either be honest, or just do not comment when it comes to education, age, and physical appearance. For most people, it is best to leave the salary portion blank, because it is not exactly advantageous in most cases. As a general rule of thumb, when it comes to specifics, reveal “Only as much as you would be comfortable revealing to a potential serial rapist.” (Holden 98)

Choosing the “right” photo: Internet dating sites say that photos are optional, but in order to be successful, they are mandatory. A good photo will avoid surprises and let downs. When meeting for the first time, you want love at first sight, not disappointment at first sight. In order to achieve this, select a photo that is recent, and not overly retouched. Also, it is best if your photos do not contain a group of people. Some people think the additional cost of hiring a professional photographer or going to a studio is worth the price.

After A While…

Communicating well: Once you have an account set up, the next step is to start putting it to good use. Whether you are initiating the messages or just responding, communicating well is important. Be entertaining, polite honest, and remember spelling counts! Keep things light, and don’t pry. Remember, at this point, they are still strangers. Keep the words “soul-mate” “long term plans” “last relationship” and “connection” out of emails and your profile. They could really scare off people. Typically, people are most successful if they wait 24 hours before responding and not on weekend nights, in order to avoid looking too desperate. Finally, it is a good idea not to respond to or send out “winks”. They are a fast, mass way for people to “flirt” and they read as impersonal like you don’t mean enough to them to write even a quick message.

Keeping your self safe: A big turn off when it comes to the idea of internet dating is safety. If you are smart about it, internet dating is really not that much more dangerous than regular dating; you can end up in sketchy situations in both case if you are not careful. To eliminate any unneeded risks, don’t post any personal information on your site like your address or phone number. If you are contacting someone by phone, it is a good idea to use an unlisted number. Also, don’t let them know where you live or your specific workplace.

Meeting for the first time: Meeting for the first time is a big step in internet dating, because this is the first face to face contact people have. If you have been honest, there is less to worry about. To keep you self safe, it is best to take your own car on the first date, meet in a public spot and always tell a friend that you are meeting someone.

Additional Resources:

1. Online Dating For Dummies by Judy Silverstein & Michael Lasky
2. The Rules for Online Dating: Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right in Cyberspace by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider
3. I Can't Believe I'm Buying This Book: A Commonsense Guide to Successful Internet Dating by Evan Marc Katz
4. The Rules for Online Dating by Ellen Fein
5. Online Seductions by Ester Gwinnell
6. Absolute Beginner’s Guide to Online Dating by Greg Holden
7. Romance and the Internet: How to Stay Safe by Brook Sheldon
8. The Boomers’ Guide to Online Dating by Judsen Culbreth
9. Love You, Let’s Meet by Virginia Vitzthum
10. Stuff: [Romance Is Not Dead, Thanks To Online Dating ]
11. CBC: [Online Dating Facts & Figures ]
12. Jmatch: [Jewish Singles Site]
13. Nelson: [Love Online: A Report on Digital Dating in Canada]
14. Dating Sites Reviews: [Which Is The Best Online Dating Site For You?]
15. You Tube: [Online Dating Mistakes by Dan & Jennifer]
16. Google: [The State of Dating In Canada ]
17. CBC: [Online Dating Facts and Figures ]
18. Government Ontario: [Ministry of Government Services: Dating Services ]
19. Ryerson: [Love @ First Site ]
20. Ryerson: [The Wide World of Internet Dating ]
21. Love Compass: [New Trends Help Seekers Find Love Online ]
22. Market Range: [An Overview of the Online Dating Market ]
23. Nelson: [Love Online: A Report on Digital Dating in Canada ]
24. Reader's Digest: [Starting Over: Cyberdating ]
25. San Angelo Live: [The Secret World of Online Dating ]
26. Statistics Canada: [Canadian Statistics on Online Dating ]
27. Match: [Dating Service]
28. Just Me & My Tee: [Online Dating Killed Cupid Comic]
29. Flickr: [Love Online Photo]
30. Chip Chick: [Online Dating Service Guide]
31. Pegasus: [Negative Aspects of Internet Dating Services]
32. Googo Bits: [The Problems of Online Dating]
33. The Online Dating Network: [Disadvantages of Online Dating]
34. Discovery Health: [Online Dating]
35. Sugar Daddie: [20 Million Singles Enough Or Too Much?]
36. Christine Bennett Consulting: [Stalking – Stranger Danger and Online Dating]
37. Post Club: [Turning Singles Into Couples]
38. UBC: [Online Dating & Romance Drawbacks]
39. Our Bodies Ourselves: [Online & Speed Dating]
40. Ezine Articles: [What Are The Risks You Could Face In Online Dating?]
41. Dating Matchmakers: [8 Befefits to online dating]
42. Associated Content: [5 Benefits to Dating Online]
43. Best Habit: [Dating Advice]
44. Dating Muse: [Online Dating Guidence]
45. Online Dating Tips Advice: [Online Dating]
46. Saksonline: [Frequently Asked Questions]
47. Singlesnet: [Find Online Dating Service]
48. Easy Dating Guide: [Who Benefits Most From Online Dating]
49. Gaylife @ About: [Gay life]
50. Alternative Dating Sites: [Dating For The Alternative Single]
51. Cartoon Stock: [Internet Dating Cartoons]